How to Support Your Child's Empathy

Topics: Child Development 

Age Range: Preschool 

As adults, we have years of experience seeing a situation from someone else’s perspective. However, empathy is a skill that is learned, and takes practice to develop.

For children, it is an especially important skill to learn. It’s the basis for other life skills such as forming strong relationships, conflict resolution, gratitude, and behaving ethically to others. At KLA Schools, our collaborative learning environment is an ideal place for empathy to flourish.

A study at the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley showed that 18-month-old children were already developing the foundations of empathy, and by age four they were beginning to consider other people’s feelings in relation to their own.

Here are some tips to encourage empathy in your child.

  • Model empathy. Some ways you can model empathy include: making sure your child sees you being kind to others or talking about ways you think people are feeling in certain situations.
  • Respect your child’s feelings. It goes without saying that your child can’t learn to respect the feelings of others if they don’t get that same respect themselves. Make sure your child knows they can rely on you to help them work through their emotions and provide emotional support. A study by Drs. Everett Waters, Judith Wippman and L. Alan Sroufe showed that children who could count on their caregivers for emotional support were more likely to sympathize with and help others.
  • Show empathy through pretend play. Pretend play is a perfect time to practice empathy. Your child is already imagining the thoughts and feelings of others, even if it’s just their favorite stuffed animal. You can support your child’s empathy by asking questions about what their toy or doll is doing, feeling, and thinking – and why.
  • Read books that demonstrate empathy. There are several books available that teach empathy. For example, you and your child may want to select some empathy-focused books from this list created by Common Sense Media.
  • Help your child find common ground. Humans are naturally inclined to feel empathy for someone similar to them. However, you can show your child that they can have something in common with someone who might look, act, or think differently from them. Help your child see that common ground can be a favorite song, similar personalities, or a comparable life experience.
  • Expose your child to a variety of people. Finding common can be easier when your child is exposed to different cultures and beliefs in a non-judgmental way. Research has shown that limited exposure to people who are different from us is one of the biggest predictors of racial prejudice and lack of empathy.

Developing empathy is an important skill for your child to develop. However, it will take time, patience, and a positive attitude. With these tips, you can support empathy in your child, which they can continue to build upon throughout their life.